dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
