She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
