Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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