I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
