Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
