told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
