gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize