Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
my sisters under your porch take her home
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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