my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I have grass duct taped all over my body
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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