i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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