We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
i think my cat just said my name.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
