how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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