Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
