We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
