Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
