but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
