5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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