So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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