it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
