I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
