Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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