Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
