it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
