it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I love having hate sex.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
