We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
