I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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