I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
tell me about the eggs
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