i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize