He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
