bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I have grass duct taped all over my body
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
