ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
COCAINE IS GR8
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