you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
