1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
