check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I still have a little drunk in my system
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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