After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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