You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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