I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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