he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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