Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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