R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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