So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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