I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
