just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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