I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
