I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
