I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize