everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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