Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
