i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Someone signed my nipple.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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