Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
