I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
