its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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