I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
