My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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