So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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