Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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