it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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