Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
