does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Randomize
