New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
