Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
