Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
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