the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
im six kinds of drunk right now
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
So squirting runs in the family.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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