Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize