The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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