oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize