Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
