All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
