she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
