im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I am available for nakedness
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
