how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
