He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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