There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
