I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
